i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
just went home with some hot chick. she has posters of the jonas brothers in her room. i basically ran out of the house.
He told me he had an exgf. and didnt follow up with"and now i like guys."
This glow in the dark vibrator will get me through this power outage
there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
I dunno if we should get high tonight man. its daylight savings. time travel is just too much for me right now.
There's never a time that i stay at this apartment that when i wake up in the morning and sit outside to smoke a cigarette that i don't feel ashamed of myself.
I haven't gone out since the baby was born. If I don't get arrested, in a fight, or both I'm going to be super pissed.
How was the party last night?
There's a mountain bike in the middle of our apartment. No one will claim it.
Yes and yes. Got taken to a Florida strip club. I desperately want to flood my eyes and ears with hand sanitizer right now.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
Dude are you being arrested? I swear I just saw you laying on the hood of your car with a cop patting you down...
whose parrot is this?
You sent me a snapchat of you hugging a beer with the caption "best friend"
Kelly and I just had sex, and you didn't call or text to interrupt, are you alive? We are both concerned.
Randomize