She was not exactly lady-like. Down there.
Yeah, i think she was German or something.
No dude, she's just got a speech impediment.
I failed the drunk obstacle course of trying to find my bed... consolation prize... a sore ankle and "disappointed' parents.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
I'm sorry..where i come from learning how to exploit a wealthy middle aged man is a right of passage
You are just a treasure cave of fabulous alcoholic ideas.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
Let's not refer to him as Dustin. That makes him seek like a real person, not just a dick I would like to experience.
You'd be amazed at how difficult it is to find pics of the helicopter dick
I am very proud of your internet skills
I've had to do a couple req orders today and I would like to submit to you an order form to requisition DAT ASS
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
You know getting black out drunk at a cats birthday party should have been my lowest point drinking wise but some how I feel like last night was some how worse
I just threw up into a baby carriage. There was a baby in it.
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
And by "sexually intimate," you mean fuck buddies?
Randomize
