I will die if light touches me.
Teenaged girls are God's best work and the Devil's best tool. Remember that my friend.
when the lights went off, all i could see was the glowing of the camera light in the closet... i got the fuck out of there so fast.
i just googled "alcohol delivery service". im combating drunk driving one lazy act a time.
Reached a new low. Drinking Wine from my thermos while on the stair master.
Leaving your birthday party to engage in a threesome IS allowed. I checked the rule book.
THAT IS NOT SOMETHING YOU TELL SOMEBODY THE FIRST TIME YOU MEET THEM IN THE DARK.
Saw you fall down on Jefferson and a cop drove by and shook his head. How you didnt get arrested after the party you went to on saturday is beyond me.
We also had rum, but now that's all gone. Which I feel is appropriate for a pirate party.
My roommate is downstairs drunk, smoking, and listening to a self help DVD. Please dear God don't let this be the Ghost of Christmas Future.
I need to start using my boobs for good instead of weed. Although really they're kind of the same thing
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
Something I can get at drive through, boobs out, don't want to get out of the car
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
My sister and her gf showed up at my door with no pants on at 4 AM talking claiming its hot.
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