there are some really hot girls on the bus. i want to lips them
i can juggle bunnies
cool
on fire
Its only 8 and she is already passed out
Perfect here is wht u do. Gently slip your index middle and ring finger into her butt hole but gently u dont wnt to wake her..let me know when ur ready for step 2
it appears as though my vagina has gotten the best of me again
His concept of male bonding is doing lines in adjacent stalls.
IF HE CAN'T EVEN MAKE EYE CONTACT IN CLASS, I DOUBT THERE WILL BE OTHER FORMS OF CONTACT ON OUR FIRST NOT-A-DATE DATE
I'm doing the Macarena naked in my living room right now
I see you're taking unemployment seriously.
Oh my fucking god you idiot bitch just get here forget about the vodka the fucking cops are looking for you
The shit I just took was my body's way of telling me bourbon and mixed nuts aren't an appropriate dinner. Well played, colon. WELL. PLAYED.
When he wears his hair down and sandals, he looks like Jesus. A Jesus I would fuck.
That's not what Jesus is for
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
Remember that time I came to London for 4 hours, got hammered, cried for an hour and then left.
Accidentally made a bowl of macaroni and cheese with a bottle of vodka. It's not that bad
Give me one good reason why I should go with you.
Free beer.
..pick me up at 8.
annnnd thats why you don't tip your waiter by flashing them
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