drink some water, pull the trigger, get a bfast sandwich. Only good things.
I wish that guy wasn't missing teeth
I just woke up with streamers wrapped around me. Glitter in my hair. My fish are swimming in empty bottles of Barcardi. Helpppp
the russians are downstairs with the vodka loudly proclaiming happy birthday america. i don't care if it's the fourth, i care that it's 9 am and they woke me up.
Oh my god! She wrote the word ''hi'' in HAIR on the shower wall. What the fuck?!
i just rememebered i spent like 5 minutes on the ground warming some chicks toes.
Is it cum slut, cumslut or cum-slut? Sexting, plz advise ASAP
Throwing up so forcefully that toilet water hits you in the face is not what the Pilgrims and Indians had in mind for this holiday
It's not that I'm in love with her, so much as I would love to be her lesbian experience.
we were playing waterfall, then strip waterfall, then we were just listening to music, drinking, and slowly becoming more naked
Carson kissed me on my cold sore before I could stop him so I think I gave my kid herpes. Mom of the year. Just call me MOTY.
I'm washing down the sadness with shots of vodka.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
like honestly, the vodka had to go somewhere, and your moms soap dispenser just seemed right at the time..
And to be clear I have only watched porn like 3 times at work
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