i can't believe you were mixing vodka with green tea last night and enjoying it.
i should bottle and sell it. my slogan could be "green tea vodka. antioxidating while intoxiacting. your liver will thank you. "
Pretty certain he passed out for a while going down on me. Absolutely certain he passed out during the blow job.
they told me they were banning four lokos so yeah i did have to buy 42 of them
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
He took shrooms and didn't want anyone to touch him. He kept saying he was a chip and he didn't want to break.
If by "in control" you mean him showing-up to work wasted, calling a customer a "fuckstick," and getting fired on the spot? Then yes, he is.
I was fucking trucked by the swat team last night on State Street after UK won. But I got a picture with the guy afterwards so I forgive him
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
Guy hitting on me at bar is guy who's Craigslist ad we laughed at the other night. Not even kidding.
I also woke up on my floor. Naked. On a pile of clothes. With my head in the trash can. And a sheet over me.
I'm in the kitchen making quiche for my fuck buddy and his wife. I'm probably not the chick to get dating advice from.
Knowing how to carefully mix my vices has to be the #1 skill I've gotten from pharmacy school
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
Dude like i feel like i did ALL OF THE DRUGS yesterday
I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but yours is no longer the biggest penis I've seen. It is however, still the prettiest.
Randomize
