I think I'm going to start texting all the people that don't want to talk to me
better yet, through the bookshelves. like an intellectual glory hole
Dude they even gave me free lube for being tested! Best. Hiv test. EVER.
just found gum connecting my sunglasses to my floor board. you don't want to know where else it was.
Would a ten year old streaker be inappropriate?
That's the stuff legends are made of
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
So a guy died and our dates revived him with CPR. Good night?
Apparently there was a black out and the security alarms went off except I was convinced it was the microwaves and made ben unplug them all then got really frustrated cos he wasnt doing it right
guy at the bar just asked how many cows we have on our land, then proceeds to ask me out. you know your from the country when....
he kept insisting he didn't have my number, so i called his phone and my number came up as "yeaaaaaaaaah!"
I keep finding granola in my bed. This is what I get for sleeping with a guy from Oregon.
My favorite part was when you kept telling everyone you were being "green" by drinking straight out of the bottle so u weren't wasting a cup.
you said, "I wonder what your mum is doing right now." in the middle of sex, of course I threw up on you.
My last Google search was 'can an impotent man have sex'. I don't even want to know what I did with that guy.
I got eaten out in the igloo at snow-kings castle last night.My thighs were literally melting ruts in the ice bench.Definitely colder than the minus 40 blowjob at Desiree's wedding
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