dude sorry but u no that when a guys 'likes' ur pic on facebook it only means he was just jacking off to it.
no guy is ever going to take you seriously as a potential marriage prospect unless you learn to swallow
Vegas is awesome. Its like you have a kentucky accent girls automatically assume you don't have herpes.
Dude...disintegrating condoms. Think about it. For all the guys that wanna go raw dog but their girls won't let them, and for the girls that wanna get pregnant but their guys don't want a kid. What do you think?
I think you've been hitting the soco too hard again.
FYI I just found your friend. Asleep. In. My. Kayak. In. Pool.
You'll get a boner for sure
Way ahead of you. Kinda awkward while paying rent but hey
U offered to motor boat her and it somehow turned into u two going on a sunset cruise in Newport. At 3am.
Yeah haha but we have no idea where his keys are. Last night was awful. Him and Chancey were in a fully embraced bro hug at one point. Both crying.
That awful moment when there is no more beer and you find yourself considering tequila and aloe juice.
BTW car sex works all the muscle groups. Just sayin. Legs/butt are sore as are arms, back and core.
Just scratched my head and I basically rained glitter.
The more I drank he just got hotter and hotter. And then the mustache didn't look too bad
BRING KITTENS I AM A GENIUS
yes we're having sex but I'm texting you...so what does that tell you?
I asked what it takes to be a good delivery driver, my new boss said "always keep these in your vehicle" as he handed me a flashlight and a blunt. I'm going to like this job.
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