Hey man sorry I got all grabby
I actually kind of like the booze poos. It's like a colon cleanse. I feel skinnier.
Whoa. I woke up to 10 new text messages. All about bacon.
Its the little things i like about bein home like having actual toilet paper instead of subway napkins
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
Ok, let's play "if you were a slut" again and try and retrace our steps last night..
I vagually remember taking your birthcontrol and washing it down with ash water
second attempt at shower sex: failed after the water turned orange bc of a fire up the street. this is just not meant to be
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I wish I saved his nudes so I could anonymously submit them to his tumblr
I am too high to deal with coming home to 11 naked people in my living room
It was like sex on an active volcano surrounded by the night sky and bloodhounds. And by that I mean it was nice.
She's not allowed to do acid anymore... she started crying because she thought she was an eagle.
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
i shit you not. the flight is delayed because they have to change fucking light bulb. all the airport bars are closed and my shit is in checked luggage.
Randomize
