so then you didnt wanna fuck tonight right?
oops, you werent supposed to get that until you left.
My balls are so social today.
sorry i walked in and ruined it, but i had to laugh she looked like a pile of bologna the way you had her pinned up on the wall
oh fat girl friday strikes again...
Even if he doesn't call, at least I can say i fucked a mascot.
then you gave the doctors and nurses bloody high fives
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
He said I was trying to make the bouncer dance with me AS he was throwing me out
Is it possible to have pulled a muscle in my neck from passing out with my head in a bucket?
Every shot buddy I have I end up blowing. I don't know whether this pattern is good or bad.
He's acting like I should like him more than vodka and Taco Bell, but I just don't ser that happening.
we were both freshly single and using each other as rebounds. most intense sex I've ever had. i felt like a grizzly bear emerging from hibernation in a whirlwind of sexual fury
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
He and his ex stood there talking about going to get Chinese food while I was half naked searching for my panties
He drank an entire six pack, past out on the guest bed, woke up around 4AM, lifted & dropped my leg, then peed on the corner of the bed. When I told him where he was pissing he said "it's all the same babe."
Randomize
