You should dream of me :)
I'm going to dream of single life.
Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
I just came to the conclusion that the most depressing part of my day is when I have to put clothes on.
Found my new morning breakfast spot. Hospital cafeteria. Nobody asks questions, they just assume shit went downnn
Just whacked off in the middle of writing a paper, gave me great ideas. Note, should do this more often.
Their bromance is so intense that they don't even eye-fuck when they see each other....they eye-make-love.
She went off on a twilight/new moon tangent before we even got back to my room. i had to jump the ship and pretended to pass out on the sidewalk.
$5 long island pitchers = roommate pissing on his laptop at 3am.
Was that your vagina? Received a text pic from a number I didn't recognize. Shaved, so no hair color cues. But it looked like your lips.
I spent ten minutes questioning her on what kind of cup she wanted... Then I asked what kind of water she wanted..
WOAH TOO HIGH
Current state of being: shivering like a new born kitten on the bathroom floor
You know I've done a lot of messed up stuff. But I never thought I would have to put a bandaid on my dick. Yet here we are.
We're just starting to open presents and I already need a shot. This is gonna be a long Christmas day.
Mom wants to know if you're coming over or if it's safe for her to take her bra off...
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
Randomize
