dude just tell them you don't wear clothes. they'll understand
oh, and bring over your fire extinguisher. we're gonna get the mailman again
yah I made NO friends last night. at one point i think i replaced talking with spitting
Just had another dream about being on Real Chance of Love. I think it's a sign.
He was putting purell on my boobs saying "they need to be clean for later." He hadn't had a drink all night
did you seriously make the punch out of vodka and food coloring
I owe you 20 bucks. My blood work did show liver damage.
The pride tent is doing free lube tastings. There is also a mechanical bull.
Champagne is a vitamin, right?
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Is it acceptable I'm laying in bed drinking airplane bottles?
In our world? Yes, but I'm disappointed yoiu are wasting airplane bottles. Save them for sneaky occasions
Its not like i paid for sex. She was stuck there, we simply exchanged rides.
I snorted a few ambien and woke up here. A lady banged on our door, waking us up, demanding our towels.
I deflowered you on valentines day. I AM THE BEST AT ROMANCE. LOVE ME.
I can’t believe I made out with a flat earther and didn’t know about it until now!
Randomize
