haha i took a picture of myself naked on her camera
She didnt have a camera...
She asked the class if starwars was based on a true story...
i'll never see her again. i cant remember her last name. this is like cinderella except prince charming drank too much jameson and couldnt save a phone number properly
she was sobbing drunk in the backseat about her dead cat and how the guy in the front seat didn't want to hook up with her
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I told the girl who was peeing in the garbage can she must have had a lot of upper body strength.
Peeing in public by noon, this is not a good indicator for the day.
I don't think going to Relay for Life and painting our faces while everyone stares at us is a sufficent late night after the bars.
She's all pretty and bubbly and nice and I'm sitting here stoned looking like Lucifer.
Did he seem like the type of guy that would maybe take weed as payment?
Best ethics paper a stoner could write. I called my professor Dr. Superfly Arandia. And I'm pretty sure I used "respect the hustle" somewhere in there too.
Can I trade you chipotle for a pregnancy test?
You seriously don't remember crying about how much you miss your mom right before we hooked up?
Well. We had sex and then watched 6 episodes of Dateline NBC together; only breaking the silence to make disapproving noises at shotty police work. So basically yea I'm gonna marry him.
It's one of those "I can't stand you but we're stuck in the same hotel room tonight so let's fuck until one of us passes out" kind of nights.
Randomize
