She def said "you had your chance!" after telling me she had a boyfriend. Like a pile of dogshit lecturing me on how I missed out on having itself stuck to the bottom of my shoe.
so today I found out that she used to be a he....
are you gonna get a divorce?
So me and friend just finished Eiffel towering this girl and sounds great in theory but after the high five has commenced its just a weird threesome especially when you make eye contact with your buddy during the session
I may or may not have puked in my RA's suggestion box.
Please don't drown this weekend. It would be a shame to lose a dick like yours.
While you were in the ER we decided to tailgate in the parking lot until security told us that's not allowed.
I specifically found a fat girl to lift me up on her shoulders.\n\nIt was glorious.
Dude I've kinda accepted I may leave Nola with the clap.
have you ever seen all dogs go to heaven this is important
I'll take "things you shouldn't say to a guy you just met in a bar" for 100!
I feel bad for her. If you sacrifice and have a chubby husband I feel that you assume he's not going to cheat on you....
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Neighbor is sitting on his porch looking like he made some terrible life decisions and I just want to be like "I drank half of a handle of peach vodka in a shed last night. I understand" but I think they're swingers so his night probs sucked more.
A reminder in my phone just went off saying, "Fuck.On.Roof- the Great Bambino". This makes me excited and slightly nervous.
What's your fascination with fucking to the Lion King Soundtrack?
Randomize
