just wanted to thank u for shitting in my dads bidet last night. i had to manually scoop ur shit out of it. btw ur dumped.
sunday morning discovery: something purple, smelly, and sticky my hair. any suggestions?
Pretending to be straight requires way more energy than I'm willing to use in this heat.
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
we took shots then she made me eat a dill pickle with cream cheese wrapped in a piece of turkey.
What are you doing and how can I add sex in there
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
idk man, i just want to be a bad influence for future generations
I'm attracted to him because he looks like the kind of guy who would lick my asshole without me having to ask.
Best thing she said after I kicked her out "rugby guys have single handedly ruined my faith in men"
You don't know true terror until you get stuck in a porta potty while frying your face off.
No, next time he offers you a ride home, ask him about Batman. The result will always be road head.
He was wearing a diaper to the party. I've never felt like such a creep in my life.
Are you telling me right now that the weed man sexted you?
THE WEED MAN SEXTED ME!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
Randomize