I met a girl last nite that charged by the inch. i didnt have enough money but i figured shed be a good deal for u
do you know why "how to shave your balls" is bookmarked on my computer?
It's 3am, i just got back from ht e bars and registered for classes larteeeeee. History of baseball at 8am? at least ill meet the only stragiht gusy at NYU!
Im sitting next to shitfaced santa at the cuse game. My plan to be on television is now flawless
new hobby: convincing random sorority girls around campus that we hooked up last weekend. i'm 2 for 5.
You're the only person I know who would say "we'll play it by ear" referring to a threesome
But break dance skills will only take you so far
My mom is wine drunk and on painkillers. As invigorating as that conversation was, it was also a dark glimpse into my future
i gave up on the vacation being fun the night i ate all the marshamallows out of the lucky charms while everyone else was having sex in the condo
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I woke up naked and surrounded by M&Ms
This is either the best idea i've ever had or the worst. stay tuned.
Hey I’m obsessed with Charlie Heaton from stranger things...not because he got caught at the border with coke...okay that’s a lot of it
I walked in on a circlejerk after punching that guy out. Instant karma.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
