bang him and never speak to him again. also, queef in his face.
i dont this its possible to queef on command.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
Ok a condom literally fell out of my underwear this morning, i have never been so confused.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
There are babies in the room i shouldnt be high with babies in the room.
After the VIP Latina experience at the strip club last night, I am rooting for Mexico in this years World Cup.
The first song on his sex mix was "highway to the danger zone"
The plan is to make enough mistakes this weekend to hold me over until spring break
because i know somewhere at some party, behind someones closed bed room door youre being feed a key full of mollie.
No one ever gets any after sleeping with her. She is like the broken mirror of hookups, enjoy 7 years of blue ball. Don't say I didn't warn you
I appreciate having someone to objectively critique my dick pics.
I'm all about clean living these days
You started your day with fried chicken and a bloody
... after you woke up in your own urine
They gave me 4 meds at the health center and said not to take alcohol with any of them. Guess ill wait until tomorrow to feel better.
shit... I double booked my fuck buddies
I sharted in court today and had to sit on it for about three and a half hours.
Randomize
