my ass just sighed. even my farts are tired.
She told me she was a cowboys fan... I told her it was a waste of a perfect set of tits
Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
i dont care about people's attitudes as long as they give me head
I just need to know if he's either really genuine about being in my life or being in my vagina.
Thursday nights need to stop happening to me.
i was just offered a 40 day sex challenge. prepare for the best 40 days of your life.
oh. my. god. yes.
It really does creep me out though that the next ten years will involve my friends creating smaller versions of themselves because to be honest I don't know how much I like some of them. So that thought it really scary
I'm pretty sure he's playing the harmonica in my shower right now. I just really need to pee.
Keep in mind this was 2012... YOLO was a very new concept.
"Because this is an ongoing legal matter" is how his morning after sex text began. So...
Can I come over and get it in, take a nap in ur bed, grab some poptarts and then leave?
You haven't lost that air of class about you...
Sitting on couch, workout sex makes me more sore than regular workout
so i fell out of a tree on the ave last night. someone told me there was alcohol at the top. bastards.
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
Randomize
