party is dying down. we just wrote whore in the yard with gas. Photos to come.
I slept walked to the toilet and woke up pooping. Easily one of the most disorienting events of my life.
accomplished twins. life is a go
we made a giant pot of alcholic jello. i filled a gallon bag and brought it to dorms. desk guy gave me weird looks, he doesnt realize this is how i will pass all of my room searches
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
I have six drafts of messages to you that just say "blood" and I have no idea where they came from.
we found you in the kitchen at five am trying to make a vodka omelette. you said you didn't want to live in a world where your two favourite things couldn't be together.
Hmmm. I never knew the difference. I've done either one and had stronger or weaker versions but usually if i took enough, i tripped balls. That should be a PSA for kids... if you take drugs and the drugs are weak, just take more drugs... The More You Know
Fuck. I have to get my shit together by lunch. Mission impossible.
Mom called last night while I was at the bar and asked where I was. I told her I was on the highway to the danger zone while the guys were humming the top gun theme.
The landlord wasn't even off the porch yet and she was packing a bowl, I can't imagine a better best friend
Do you ever just feel the storm building inside of you that tells you you're ready for a giant indiscriminate fuckfest?
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
I’ve cut back on drinking and now my body can’t fight off all the bad germs without the alcohol. That’s why I keep getting sick
They're doing CPR to someone in the middle of Victoria's Secret. Way to block the undies, damnit!
Randomize