I puked for half an hour, but I went and danced afterwards, and that made me feel better.
You are so irish.
He asked the clerk if they sell a penis-shaped brander.
So I just saw Jonah Hill at LAX and decided my fat fetish is back
You should go to counseling for that
Just know I'm having fun but I still have my motor functions.
Do not deep throat a rocket pop, it WILL go into your lungs, and you may die.
I'm pretty sure I'm the first person in the history of this college to rollerblade their walk of shame.
Maybe just the first 2 wks of Nov can be dick detox.
Can't keep a straight face around her after she asked me to "make fuck to her."
Just saw identical twins riding scooters. Today is not real who the hell rides a scooter anymore
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
This whole pope visit thing is ruining me having sex.
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
my grocery list today consisted of condoms. and butter.
umm... whats the butter for?
How drunk were you? in an effort to seduce him, you demonstrated your lap dance skillz on his dog.
What do you mean you haven’t had the fantasy of getting anally penetrated by a tentacle monster?
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