jersey shore drinking game rules must be edited. almost died. how is it possible for a person to say guido that many times
I'm writing my will in case I die this week, it'll be saved on my computer under: little 500 death scenario
We were trying to sober you with hotdog buns but you refused put half of it in your bra and said you'd save it for later
PRINCE HARRY WAS AT WAL MART SO NEXT TIME YOU BITCH ABOUT GOING TO WAL MART REMEMBER THAT EVEN PRINCE HARRY GOES TO WAL MART.
I'm gonna go drown myself in the shower. Make sure to cover me up before the paramedics arrive. I'm too fat to be seen naked right now.
he was once again the drunkest girl at the party
In his defense he just bought a bong like a week ago so he's still in that honeymoon phase.
And that's why we do second round interviews for possible roommates.
I drank beer out of some sort of animal horn all night, then we fucked to a "viking metal" album. I feel like I should go pillage something to complete the Norse trifecta.
this relationship shit is hard. like i'd like to be able to watch veep without him trying to dry hump me. also im drunk and its 11 am so
Dude so last night I was eating out my gf and her kitten climbed onto my back and fell asleep. AND SHE DIDN'T NOTICE FOR LIKE 10 MINUTES
you didnt realize it, but you puked in the bushes in front of a church and yelled "GOD IS DEAD"
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
I don't think it's a coincidence that the day I just happen to do the splits at the gym I come back with 7 guys' phone numbers.
Was just at a stoplight and some kid was smoking a blunt and we smiled at him and he offered to pass it between cars... Only in Rockford
Randomize
