I want to take things slow emotionally, but fast physically
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
worst lay ever....
as long as you cum, there is no bad sex
ya... thank god for condoms, I was able to fake it... I stand by my original statement
nothing like a negative hiv test and a bag of condoms to brighten my day.
Last night when I was hammered I set a reminder to tell you that your boobs are my favorite ones in the world, so this is me giving you that message.
Is it sad that i just saw my moms thumb on the table & i instinctively put mine down cuz i thought she was thumbmaster?
So I'm trying to figure out if starting the day running around the quad in a black t-shirt and bikini w/ a drawn on mustache is a good way to start the day...
Weirdly I'm doing ok, but I've tested positive for chlamydia, I wanted to let you know
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
Wait. We seriously played strip beer pong at the bar last night. Who said I never came up with good ideas
There was nowhere else for me to go. I'm like the island of misfit toys but I'm hot.
let me wake up, find my pants, and find out where i am tommorow and ill get back to you on that
where are you?
two trains and a bus walk of shame. so not worth it.
I'm assuming you were here at some stage because I woke up alone, clean and in a towel with mum asking my why my shoes, dress and jewellery were in the bottom of the shower.
Randomize
