Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
so far i wrote 500 words for a paper on sean paul performing we be burnin..i can officially do anything on adderral
Get here now. This is going to be possibly my most dangerous idea ever, and I'm the guy who challenged a hobo to a breakdance fight.
it took me 20 minutes to get her upstairs... she crawled under a car and wouldn't come out.
You have to figure out where to put this turtle dude
I cannot believe this. A potential 2016 Olympiad wants my vag. To which I respond "GO FOR THE GOLD"
you have to be that girl in the audience holding up the sign that says i fucked the shit out of you
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
My apartment smells like a lavender field inside of a giant bong.
i woke up soaking wet with shard of glass imbedded in my flesh dangerously close to my dick what happend?!!
BEER BOTTLE SWORD FIGHTHING!!
it's taken me 3 hours to eat this pudding cup. I think I am melting.
He saw one of my bras on the floor and said "damn you could eat soup out of this"
Yeah, last night in the parking lot was hot. I'm sure whoever has the surveillance tapes thinks so too.
I feel like my dick pic collection should be archived at the Smithsonian
Do you ever go take a shit and end up sitting on the toilet for like 45 minutes wondering what the fuck you're doing with your life?
Everyday my friend, everyday.
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