Don't interrupt me, I have a limited time to be high and thus be remarkably good at Pac Man
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
One of the mothers are the party said to me "All your friends are getting married, you're just getting drunk"
he bonged a 1/5 of jack and came back an hour later blacked out with a legitimate chicago firemans helmet
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
thinking back, the fact that our bartender was missing a finger shouldve been hint number one not to let him pick our drinks
I think she was eating a cup of ramen noodles while we banged, or had a seizure
I think my staff loses a little bit of respect for me every time you're in town. I may have to puke at work ...again.
We're you guys there last night when everyone started chanting "Nacho Steph"? Someone picked me up, carried me to the nacho cheese and made me do a nacho cheese stand.
Actually I more feel like I'm on a ship about to grab the holy grail off an island
The ship is me being high the holy grail is some profound idea I'm about to have
One of my students submitted a thesis proposal to find the exact correlation between desire for sexual intercourse and vaginal heat.
Tell me you accepted it! This is critical fucking research!
The doctor basically called me a dirty dick.
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Just calm down. My foot long super joint and I will be over shortly.
Randomize
