see... this is why i put birth control in all my friends drinks
wait.... you do what?
i've been called drunk 4 times today and it's only 3pm
Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
remember that response paper i wrote naked, at 745am still drunk with a naked dude in my bed? yeah, totally got an a- on that. and he loved my insight.
I vaguely remember walking down the highstreet with a plate of K offering lines to passers buy. I sold a line to a taxi driver.
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
Apparently I got mad at you for "Not drinking with me till we thought we were seahorses" and smashed my face on your door. Then I put my feet in the oven and started crying because I was drinking alcohol from a pot. My life is spinning out of control.
I just watched a guy smoke weed through a French Horn. He is my hero
I can't wet the bed. That was the old me. I'm grown
Oh my god
I am seriously thinking about wearing a blanket as a cape. So when I pass out tonight the blanket might keep me warm.
BECAUSE THIS IS AMERICA AND DONUTS AND TITTIES AND ALCOHOL IS WHAT THIS COUNTRY WAS FOUNDED ON
In hindsight following that black guy in the ghostbusters costume was a terrible decision on everyone's part
Well shit I mean if you get a bunch of cashed up drunk lesbians together in a casino, it's bound to go south at some point
test was negative. but nancy drew has yet to solve the case of the missing period.
Randomize