i just compared eating a chick out to "gargling a cheeto"
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
Man now I have poo on my blackberry!!!
brownberry?
Totally just grabbed the wrong dick. Damn this tequila.
Wasn't a date. In exchange for artichoke dip I received a bj. And sex. It was a transaction.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
I seriously have her in my phone as "Legit 8"...even I'm surprised
I just spent an hour in the shower pretending I was a member of the b-52's. I can't go to work like this
I can't get over how you look like his sister and he wants to fuck you.
Overheard-"sex" and "giblet gravy" in the same sentence. Best thanksgiving ever.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
Wet should excavate the hamsters out of the front yard n give them a proper burial.
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
At the bar in my pajamas again
Ummm that is the 3rd time this week and it is Wednesday
I love you. I would never turn you into a bear.
Randomize