im officially scared..,i finally realized who my boyfriend reminds me of! spencer pratt
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
so id say it was a successful trip...i only got hit on by one cousin...
He offered but I said no. I didn't think it'd be cool to accept cupcakes in the mens room of a gentlemans club.
rolled over to window for cup of snow instead of leaving bed for water. that's how hungover
walk of shame into the pharmacy with a busted up chin and laughing the lady at the counter rolled her eyes at me when I asked for the morning after pill.
my greatest accomplishment from the city of diplomacy is that i puked at a table of 5 diplomats and my professor and NONE OF THEM NOTICED
First Thanksgiving as a grown up: My step dad had to take my brother (who still smells like booze) and I both to our cars this morning, apparently we were at the same bars (same stamps), & I think I broke my elbow. Im thankful to be alive & not incarcerated.
Please rescue me. but take your time, im getting pizza
he looks SO much like Drake, I feel like an extreme groupie every time we have sex.
There are days when you go to throw something in your bedroom trash can and realize the only things in there are a used condom, a Lime-arita can and a muffin wrapper.
there was a keg and pinata at my uncles funeral, and a bunch of scary looking biker dudes showed up to pay their respects. i need to strive to be more like him.
From the bottom of my heart, thanks for never sending me unsolicited dick picks.
The seven of us sank the first paddle boat, but the second one was much nicer and we stayed afloat. Best night in a while, but we had to walk of shame for a mile.
Why are you rhyming?
Too stoned. That is how my thoughts are collecting.
Randomize
