its like he missed a chap in the "being a guy" handbook and read the bible instead
I'm drinking while I write this paper. When I can't see the screen anymore I'm gonna come out
Gay walks of shame are so much more Amy Winehouse than straight girls
i just stepped in cum. i hate you.
Thats what happens when you don't swallow.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
No, no, we have to calibrate. What is the maximum amount of trouble we can get into without going to jail?
I just threw up again because I opened my eyes... God is laughing. I resorted to taking the Mexican Dramamine because I feel seasick from walking. Not helping.
Yeah we invited her back for chicken nugget sandwiches
I got high and had sex with reindeer antlers on. It was magical and animalistic. Tia the season.
You didn't throw up on me, you threw up on yourself and then tried to give me a hug
2016 is coming through for me, I'm renaming it the year of great dick
Update: He still has devil magic genitals.
Just got caught by my boss looking at porn on the work computer & he decided to utilize this time to look with me. Not sure if this is good or bad.
Soooo, hypothetically, how long would roommates have to sleep together before its considered dating...
It’s a good thing I’m the only one in the office today. My boy toy stopped by and now there is jiz all over my desk and couch
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