Yeah and Nick is shooting his loaded 9mm in his backyard.
Wow, you were right... Weed does start conversations
But, I don't have the body of a porn star, so nobody would hire me. Unless they're doing like a trip to the safari and they need an albino rhino
small problem..I have a major exam in the morning so I might have to go to the library after the party
so no drinking for you?
don't be silly
I had a dream last night that I had sex with Abe Lincoln. I must stop watching the History Channel before I go to bed.
Those motion detector trash cans don't work fast enough to catch puke.
The two guys from next door helped him do a backflip. The ended up throwing him halfway through a ceiling tile. Don't worry, we fixed it with duct tape.
I fucking give up. OKC is where small penises go to disappoint me.
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
After you passed out we took your car to the campus and stole a 150lb plaque that's now in your trunk. Happy birthday!
This is my college life. Rolling at 4PM on a Wednesday to skrillex in the parking lot of a mexican restaurant.
you started shaking the frozen steak while screaming "THIS IS CAPITALISM" before rubbing it all over your chest and passing out on your dog
When you wake up on the bus on 139th but you're staying at 6th
133 to go
I watched a compilation video today of a guy banging his sex doll to edm music. I just had to tell someone.
i feel like the girl with kaleidoscope eyes except the kaleidoscopes are sparkly butt plugs
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