If you want her to think you're a true humanitarian, you may want to stop referring to Hands Across America as "the Ghostbusters 2 of fund raisers."
I just googled "semen solvent" and got nothing. there has to be something that will wash this shit off!
I see a marketing opportunity
does anyone know how to get red sharpie out of a white cat?
Everybody in the immediate area is hooking up like it's doomsday
WHY AM I NOT THERE?
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
I woke up in a bunk bed beside two Brazilians dude you have no idea how happy I was
I tried to have a quickie with him at the company happy hour. I think I need to quit my job.
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I GOT THE PAPER IN AT 11:58
EAT MY ENTIRE ASS COM 101
I'm like 'WOMAN, YOU'RE 62, RESHEATH THOSE COUGAR CLAWS.'
Hey can you explain why there's a dissected coconut in my purse????
he called me ma'am when we were fucking last night...he's five years older than me. I think I'm in love.
I need a job that does not involve working with people who wear animal costumes when they get fucked.
My mother just set me up with the son of the man I fucked last weekend. I could crawl under a rock and die OR I could remember the rules of genetics and hope that JR takes after daddy. Wish me luck...
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