i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
Canada just beat USA, the sad part they still need us to make money so who really won
I should never bitch about not getting laid. He's begging me to come over and I'm saying no because I'm watching a Golden Girls marathon.
Im really high right now and the vending machine is broken and giving out free candy. Please kill me, my life will never get better than this
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
im sleeping with a therapist...so you can talk to me.
I had so much stripper lotion and body glitter on my glasses I had a hard time driving home.
I want the address of the individual responsible for strawbeeritas. I want to send them gift basket.
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Weirdest drunk sex ever. His sweat dripped into my eyeball and then he looked down and asked me why I was crying. I went with it.
Fuck you. Leave my nipples out of this. THEY DID NOTHING TO YOU
Fuck. I think I can already feel tomorrow's hangover. It's like future me cane back to warn present me about the impending doom but didn't turn the time dial back far enough.
How early is too early to start day drinking? Asking for a friend
About five minutes ago. You’re good now.
Randomize
