We just stood on the porch wondering how you managed to puke up a whole piece of bologna
it was just fiscally responsible to stop going to strip clubs where the strippers recognized me
Halloween has nothing on dressing up as as the INS on cinco de mayo
at which point I apparently ran in and shouted "I made the sex with that one!"
Going stoned out of mind to my sociology exam because it's really just a pizza party. I love community college.
Also I walked home in over mitts \nLet's take a minute to really laugh about that
............HELP Ive been abducted by vodka and its poisoning my brain fat chicks are getting cute and i slept with my sisters friend who slightly resembles john kerry....,,help
So take that alcohol. I still win. I ALWAYS WIN. Plus i didn't have to wear clothes. DOUBLE WIN.
Im going to be coked out with hello kitty fire arms. Valentines day can suck my dick
Talk about an dramatic entrance, girl rolled up on a stolen bike and was wearing heels and a dress, through it on the ground and said "you guys want a bike?" Of course i jumped on that shit, any sane person would!
Hahaha I can already see the arrest warrants. It's gonna be beautiful. I'll get them framed.
i would never take his side over yours. you coulda gotten knocked up from another dude and i'd be right there next to you blaming it on him saying some shit like "his sperm were just too sub par for you" or "shoulda had a bigger penis"
I asked him for something to clean up with after sex and he handed me a sham wow. A SHAM WOW
Ain't no cockblock like hearing the word"HOOODOOORR!" shouted from the bedroom floor while in the middle of sex.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
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