Is this a definitive no? All is forlorn? Such is fine, but i'm drunk and a sucker for concrete answers
im like that movie w. ryan reynolds, no ones ever going to date me unless they're forced to marry me.
Yeah I'm buying him lunch right now because I shot him with the fire extinguisher last night
I've really got to stop smuggling half full bottles of beer out of bars in my purse.
He told her, Don't talk. Just sit there so I can imagine that you have the kind of personality I wish you had.
My asshole is basically a geyser at this point. Minus the excitement. Plus blood.
I need a burrito and a hug.
I FINALLY HAVE A REASON TO DYE MY PUBES BLUE!!!
They just showed up to the party with a shopping cart full stolen of naty ice cans, no boxes, just cans. Shit just got real !
STOP WHATEVER YOU ARE DOING AND GO OUTSIDE RIGHT NOW. THE MOON LOOKS LIKE CATWOMAN
I woke up and discovered I gave new meaning to the term "pizza pockets" yes it's exactly like it sounds like
we should definitely drink gin again. soon.
He was only in jail for 4 hours before he was someone's prison wife
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
Since I won't be making love with anyone on a bed of roses this year on Sunday I bought a Mustang to fill the gap
That's Danny the boy who threw up in the Doritos bag
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