last night was a success...if success means i don't remember the guy's name and my panties are somewhere in the parking lot behind the bar
she looked like the bat from fern gully.
when i was 16 reading the aftercare instructions at the piercing place i wondered why they would ever think to warn me about getting semen in my bellybutton
then i met college
Passed out on a playground for a while before trying to break into the elementary school. Erica thought her captain tasted like cat food, so she poured her bottle into her cat's dish and proceeded to eat it like cereal.
You win. Erica always eats cat food.
THE PICTURE OF PEPPERMINT MOCHA MADE ME WANT TO TOUCH MYSELF
I have fb friend requests from two random swedish brothers... Must have something to do with that hostel I stumbled into on mardi gras
My sister got her picture in the pub crawl section of the paper today and my dad said to me "why can't you be more like her?"
Hey on the reals though tomorrow if i take you out to lunch as just a friend will you also suck my cock as just a friend?
The highlight of your blackout was when you drunk showered with the garden hose and emailed your boss your vacation requests for the next year.
On a better note: I'm on pace for 730 female produced orgasms in 2013.
Lets go hit some boners bro!
I appreciate the acceptance and inclusion, but that's not how we gay men talk.
Just left a strip club where they let me on stage to teach them tricks. Time of my life!
I think getting right with the Lord should involve more than me and a bottle of tequila.
How do you say "put it in me" in Spanish... I'm dealing with language barriers here.
I was supposed to see Marcus tonight and he cancelled. Listen, I shaved my butt hole. Somebody is getting this WAP 😂😂😂😂
Randomize