That's ok. Our relationship has a solid foundation of booze and questionable behavior.
Is waterboarding an exceptable way of getting sober?
one night of dollar margs at dinner and dollar beers at the bar later, i am throwing up in his shower and gurgling soap and water to kill the taste of sin in my mouth. dollar days need to stop endng like this.
Was my mother there when I broke the stipper pole?
No, the moral of my Oxford interview was "Never snort caffeine pills".
Did he ask you why you were in his back yard Sunday night?
omg he is no good in bed, bless his little heart and his big dick
The one time my sister did shrooms she thought she was thumbalina. I can't live my life that way
Not as much as my roommate, who is in the middle of one of the pictures throwing a lawn chair at a cop car lol.
The ONLY place I sext is in my anatomy class. It's an amped up level of playing doctor.
I just projectile vomited into my kitchen sink. Today need to be over already.
Next guy I fuck must be a cowboy
If I hear you use the phrase "silky soft scrotum" one more time I swear to God you'll regret it
Alan said you can come over and eat me out anytime you want, as long as we give him enough notice to hide in the closet before we arrive
like, there were so many other better not terrible choices you could have made, so i'm honestly baffled that you managed to fuck up that bad
Randomize
