Come get meeee. I'm stranded in the middle of no where with Paul (?). I think u puked on his friend.
we were frolicking through a fountain of pizza rolls. it was like the best dream i ever had
RIP Summer 2010. God knows it had to be one of us..
is it sad that i can describe this night as "the night that i was sober" and we all know which night it was. like literally one night of sobriety.
Have you ever straight up just taken a bite out of a block of cheese? Because it's amazing.
Just picked them up. It took 6 holes and a handle of rum to evolve from golf to a demolition derby.
There's an entire pit crew of cart boys surveying the golf cart destruction.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
They won't let us do straight shots of 151 since that guy lit his face on fire.
Tried to land my foot on his shoulder and kicked him in the face. Then I fell into a homeless man's bike and posed with a buffalo head. How was your night?
Can I just lay in bed and you pour vodka through a funnel in my mouth?
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I may or may not be sitting in a bubble bath drinking wine, watching Jurassic park, and wearing a Russian fur hat.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
yeah, I woke up with nacho cheese crusted all over my face and head...a lone jalapeno still stuck in my ear...you win this round drunk nachos....
Randomize
