Theres just something about looking at pictures of your dick in church that doesn't feel right
I just want to go some place where I can have a nice night. Grind on men who speak no English, make out with a girl, and not feel judged.
Whoever put the tambourine in the dryer is a douche. Worst hangover wakeup ever
a cabby told me that vodka is the coors light of liquor, and then gave me his number
I maybe just had sex outside in broad daylight. At a state park. Please be proud.
They are chanting tits for freedom and I'm highly considering
Does it count if I'm only ambidextrous while masturbating?
If he can forgive your lousy blowjobs, you can ignore his terrible driving.
Did we do drunk science last night? There's tequila in the test tubes...
My god imagine how much cum is in that astroturf
He sent me a picture of his cock that seemed to indicate that we were still on good terms.
I have blood and BBQ sauce all over my shirt. I blame you for the blood.
When he pulled out it sounded like a balloon deflating
i just want to cuddle, make out and maybe have a boob grabbed but no. someone has to have mono.
When he busted out the ketchup I got the hell out of there. It got really creepy really fast.
Randomize
