I've blown a few things in my day
Successful New Year's Eve:: Your first shower of the year is on Jan. 2nd... 'cause you didn't trust yourself to stand up long enough on Jan. 1st. Hello 2010.
You pointed at his crotch then made a thrusting motion. I think it's safe to say every guy at my college loves you.
I am trying to think of a way to make alcohol cupcakes
the bathroom floor of the diner looks a lot different when you're not rolling around and puking on it.
The great thing about skinny blondes is that they're all interchangeable.
Side note, we are 25 fighting over our sophmore year RAs Drunk facebook attention
I slept in bed with them the night they met. I once peed on the bride. And now I get to give a speech at their wedding. Piece of cake.
Need. Hospital. Physically am floating.
Turns out he's old enough to be my dad. I'm so excited. I've never had a sugar daddy before. What should I ask for first!? Want anything?
I don't know what I'm more pleased with, the blowie last night or that fact that there's still 20 dollars in my wallet
Last thing I remember is ranting about hating pants. Woke up this morning pants less. Couldn't find them, decided to leave. Driving without pants is surprisingly liberating.
So is that the only criterion for shenanigans now? Don't die?
We almost got stabbed in the nuts last night. Don't worry, we're alright.
I just checked and if you bring a picture of your ex they will shred it and give you a free 'hater shot'. Would it be too much to print off one of their wedding pictures and bring it?
I really love that you're not going the 'why am I not married and having a kid yet?' route, but rather 'thank god I dodged that bullet'
Randomize
