we're taking shots every time my dog licks his penis. we're on number 8 now.
you should have been aborted.
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
you said you didn't feel like drinking anymore so you mixed vodka with your applesauce and ate it
We smoked a joint and talked about his parent's divorce. It was like being fifteen all over again.
used foursquare to find where i am. please come get me. this is the scariest bedroom ever.
who do i root for if I want Christiano Ronaldo to win the world cup on a team by himself and then bang chicks on the pitch?
once you have herpes you dont really care what goes in your mouth anymore.
why oh why did i suck thise tits. nothing but trouble fuuuuuu
Lame. Party is tapping out at 4am. Even chanting "USA" didn't rally them.
and then you started talkingabout how you wish birth control was disspensed as a candy necklace
I pulled an all nighter. So hoped up on coffee and aderall. Pretty sure you could take my pulse through a snow jacket...
I like to think of you as more a magic eight ball of my life's journey?
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
I mean if you can't appreciate a good looking dick then just get out.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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