so im goin to clemson & my drug dealers goin to penn state. this is the hardest breakup EVER.
The coffee from our coffee maker just hasn't tasted normal since we made Mac n cheese in it that one time....
It would be like bopping for an apple with my penis but never winning an actual prize. The only thing I would get from it would be the joy from taking part but then regretting it forever more
There is a slip-n-slide in the hallway and a girl just did it topless cuz I told her it was my birthday. Where are you?
Also, I don't remember opening my gifts from my family. It was cool when I woke up with a new ihome.
Currently smoking a blunt with my one night stand's mom. I don't know how I should feel about this.
I just let my hand run under cold water for five minutes. I couldn't stop staring at it and the only things I could think about were how amazing it felt, how cool water was, and what a wonderful world it is that we live in. Reasons why I don't smoke...
So this is what you do on your hungover days off put your balls into an egg carton?
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Did you send me a snapchat of your sister triple kissing two other girls?!!! You might be the greatest friend the world ever made
Nothing like casual arson to brighten your day
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
When you wanted to give that guy at McDonalds your number you asked the cashier if you could borrow "a pen or just like a straw with his blood on it". He gave you a pen.
You smoked too much and passed out, didn't you?
You know me so well.
Do you ever just want to be mashed potatoes?
Randomize
