hes a good boy he deserves a good blow
Not even close. I woke up in the bed of Codys truck. Wrapped up in a sleeping bed, using a stuffed alligator as a pillow. And Alex was laying naked beside me. Not to mention I wasn't wearing the clothes I got there in.
Emergency! LinkedIn connected me to a hotornot hookup from sophomore year... slutty phase sphere has officially invaded grown up professional sphere. My illusions of interweb sexual anonymity have been exploded.
Tell your friends I said hi and that if they touch your penis I'll cut off their hands.
I puked on myself in front of a customer. all. over. myself. thanks Saturday nights
Sometimes you gotta take mushrooms and swim on a rooftop pool to figure out your relationship
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I want to but I can't have a boner while doing a install and working with a customer
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
Either he pets my cat or this deal is null
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
I just woke up drenched in beer, in a puddle of beer, and cuddling a bottle of tequila
Just come here quick. I'm home in 3min. It will take you literally less than 5 to walk. Then 2 to undress, 16 to fuck, 2 to dress again and 5 to walk back..!!
exactly 16 eh??
it will be a surprise...all I can say is stripper clown.
She has my name on her bucket list. I’m either getting laid or killed
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