she just waddled down the stairs behind me and puked and kind of reached for me but i sped up. does that make me a bad person?
If a man's penis is referred to as "the family jewels" does that make a woman's vagina a jewelry box?
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Its as if he has to do the exact opposite of what I tell him. Don't come in my eye, pfshh it's in my eye. Don't come on the cat, pfshh it's on the cat.
Bartending School is so much more enjoyable now that I realized I was in rehab at this time last year.
She stumbled in with some guy, woke me up, introduced him and said "This is my sister. She's a freshman. She probably hates you."
Is there a fine for having sex in the back of a zipcar?
I applaud your efforts, but I have to say it was the bear we encountered that ultimately shut down the entire operation
I feel bad for her, but I feel like she's one of those resource-raping alien civilizations that visits planets, decimates them and then leaves. Those really aren't the qualities I appreciate in a friend. Ya know?
Dammit now I'm pissed. Its like I am torn between two worlds. A world of girls, and a world of people punching other people in the head. Both are just so beautiful.
Everyone is speaking Spanish and this 300 hundred pound chick is talking about the time she got out of prison... Fuck this place
I'm chatting on my fake OkCupid account and watching Lion Witch & Wardrobe on my second screen. Hail me, King of the Creepers
I was apparently the best non-Irish person at the party. I wore my skating dress, Austrian flag and a giant shamrock. Everyone is calling me "30 Shots Girl".
I just did the math technically I'll be drunk until 2:30-3:00pm
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
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