ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
She has some nice fakeys. She is also an exotic entrepreneur.
my new favorite insult= "thundercunt"
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My penis is bigger than his and I don't even have a penis.
good. and stop kissing my girl you dirty slut.
i don't think she's still your girl..plus, she kept screaming "kiss me! i'm a lesbian!" last night so i think you're outta luck..
med student doing my blood work at the AIDS clinic just hit on me after I told him i was having unprotected sex, but didn't think i had HIV.
I just want to see him this morning so I can bask in my wasted accomplishment.
That moment when the line ‘If you want a hot body you better work bitch’ in Britney Spears’ new song comes on as you’re using two forks to shovel enchilada into your mouth.
nothing out of the ordinary. you aplogized for having a spicy vagina and passed out
OMG I COULD FUCK HIM FOR POT, THIS CHANGES THE WHOLE GAME.
I just ate cream cheese straight for my dog
I'm afraid to ask what that means
I cannot handle Xanax... I just turned my computer on and I googled how to work YouTube
I've got five complains from the landlord about she being too loud during sex in two weeks I'm marrying her
I'm writing to thank you for your never ending commitment to my orgasms and also to apologize if any physical harm was done due to your impressive efforts. Hopefully the sex and post sex pizza made up for it.
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