Please explain to me why I only attract Mormon guys. Just explain that to me.
I think it's God trying to counter your lustful nature. Imagine if Agnostics liked you. You'd never come out of your bedroom.
you told his mom that the only thing he wants for christmas is his dick in your mouth
All I remember was yelling at him, "Its becasue of people like you that it took us so long to get to the moon!"
watching "look who's talking now." getting choked up at the end when they find each other at the cabin
doesn't that movie star kirstie alley and have talking dogs in it? new low...even for you
Dude you should see the looks were getting for ordering a pitcher of beer with breakfast.
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
The sad thing is; I'm getting used to walking around feeling like I could hurl at any minute.
I've had balls on my face twice in last 48 hours and I STILL haven't got laid!
The blow job award ceremony was a little much. You guys didn't need to call out what happened the night before.
What? How can you say that? You won!
I made everyone scream the national anthem with me after playing true American last night. I'm pretty much their leader now.
like, you weren't just lying there, you were wrapped in what appeared to be the skin of a wolf, chanting doomsday prophecies
THE END IS NEIGH
We broke my graduation cords last night when we used them to tie each other up during sex last night
How drunk are you?
Completed.
My debit card was between my ass cheeks when i woke up. i vaguely remember putting it there for safe keeping
Randomize
