She seriously needs to find another hobby other than bouncing on cock.
i'm in his phone as sushi coochie
right before he came he said "im ganna fill your stocking" nothing like holiday spirit!!
Im watching someone hooking up in the library
procrastination at its finest
The whiskey is fighting the tequila on who wants to be the one who end my night first.
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Going to rent a magician for when I eat shrooms. How has no one thought of this?
Things I have learned since the start of my first college spring break: do not fart in an enclosed space (such as a shower stall) when hungover. You will throw up. More lessons to follow as week continues.
Just once, I'd like to hook up with a girl that doesn't look like she's having a near-fatal seizure when I give her an orgasm.
So if a girl goes for it you're gonna stop her and tell her you gave up ejaculation for lent?
His status said "sad." of course I liked it. I don't even care that I was the only one. Facebook isn't your god damn journal, we don't care about your problems.
I just shook glitter of my birth control packet so I’d say it’s safe to say it was a good weekend
I think i just made eye contact with his roommate... while doing reverse cowgirl. Yup i have no shamee
Can I make sure all my sluttiness goes to you when I die? You're the only person I know who'll make use of it
I just got out of a $280 speeding ticket by acting like The Big Lebowski. Seriously Jeff Bridges is the man.
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