that shit musta been laced I laughed for two hours and everyone looked like penguins
I may be the first guy in history to get dome while watching An Extremely Goofy Movie.
I got an 8 ball and a free entrance pass to the strip club, if i dont get laid tonight I never will.
there is a baby dancing on the table amidst the smoke of multiple cigarettes. i want to trade lives with that baby.
My google history shows every combination of "red lobster cheesy biscuits" possible.
Prepare for tons of dick. I mean dick by the bucket loads. Waterfalls if cock.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
We've cranked the heat for blizzard versions of all of our strip games. Come over.
These kids are nice. Shrooms make everything so nice.
I just remembered you throwing bread at me and getting me to drink water out of a heineken bottle. You are my best friend.
I don't want to be Eskimo brothers with your dad
Best case scenario you died and I melt into poo
I am never drinking with the goths again.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
I'm gonna ask his dad. Weed trumps broken heart any day.
Randomize
