it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
Nights like last night are what makes cleaning up the vomit in the morning worth it
Technically this isn't a church so we could have been drinking this whole time.
dude i woke up sitting indian style with my face on the ground and my hand in a bucket of ice.
the caf people were giving us weird looks and she yelled ITS A LIFE STYLE
And im sorry for wishing your girlfriend gets genital warts.
This would be a good time for the don't get drunk and bang a married chick pep talk...
Everytime the frat boy touches his bro's ass after making a cup take a drink
my bowl and the doses are under your mom's passenger seat
repeat: THERE IS LSD AND THC IN YOUR MOM'S CAR. HELP ME HELP US AVOID FELONIES
I got a second ticket last night for drunkly using my one call to order a pizza and get it delivered at the police station
We were tripping too hard to figure out to tell him where we were so we sent a picture of me laying outside the tent saying "find us"
there was 'chicken suit porn' in my search history.......also 'scuba diving porn'
I'm sad about how hungover I'm gonna feel tomorrow.
Hahahahahha. You saved a homeless man. You're actually the mother Teresa of skanks.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
Randomize
