i'm at sigma nu and gary is here. what do it do?
Stay away from his face.
so i go for his dick?
just woke up to overhearing her on the phone saying "yeah we fucked last night, that makes 42." should i get tested?
well i fucked her too, so yes.
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
3 a.m. laundry plus 100 proof peppermint schnapps does not turn out well. Not only is there a puddle of detergent outside the laundry room that I spilled, but my clothes were found in the dryer wit a box of Franzia and a 40. Good thing I was too drunk to turn it on.
That girl next to you randomly said that she fits into a queen sized pillow case
WTF.
shes on the ground doing bicycle kicks screaming "is my ass good enough for you now satan" send help
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
If it meant we had chicks like that every weekend I would gay marry the shit out of you dude
if i bang your brother are we still cool?
he literally referred to his penis as the alaskan bull worm from spongebob. when can we get married
I just asked him what would happen if my boobs fought crime. I think I'm cut off.
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
I've started recycling nudes. Why should I take new pictures for every single man?
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize
