he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
We're playing Edward Bottle-of-eight-dollar-sale-wine-hands now
I'm at the bass pro shop. They have a river full of trout and turtles, a shooting range, a full bar, and the patriots cheerleaders are here. I now understand why people are rednecks. I may never leave
He took out the lube and started calling it fuck fluid
I'm seriously gonna die surrounded by a million cats and an unbroken hymen
they came at us with fireworks while we were skinny dipping in her jacuzzi at 4 am...
the only thing keeping me going right now is the knowledge that in 2 hours i'll be drunk at the circus.
party gras won. party gras always wins.
BTW, it's bullshit to say that not doing a shot is unpatriotic. You know how I fall for that.
Gosh, I don't even have that. Let alone someone to tie me up and whip me with Twizzlers.
Im fairly sure two chicks roofied me last night. Suckers. I love free drugs.
I'm just gonna go with where the wind takes me. if it takes me to his dick, so be it.
I'm giving random strangers at the bar sips of my fishbowl, then telling them I have Ebola. It's a fun night.
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
If by fun you mean, did I meet her cousin for the.first time and bang him, then yes it was a productive evening.
Randomize
