im gay
i know
yea but for you.
So I finally got the Patron washed off my boobs.
One of my bosses just told me she's having communication problems because mercury is in retrograde this month. I think she's serious.
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Thanks man, but unless some hot chick comes in to work with a case of beer and offers me a head job, I'm pretty much screwed for New Years
It feels like I'm breathing out my heart and it spreads through my limbs to my fingertips.
I told you I'm not going to the Phillies game until we're tripping balls
He just remixed a spongebob song with 2 chainz..... Clearly I love him
he said he needs a little more pabst, some time to jack off and a sandwich and he'll be ready
I can't believe this. 100 bucks says my Botox lasts longer than their marriage will.
When did it become normal to wake up in the middle of the night to take a group bathroom break and have a 10 minute discussion on where the next football game is?
Who is this? I have a text from you last night telling me your name and to train hard for Tuesday, please make this make sense
That was fun and all, but let's never have sex on a ladder ever again.
Whoever thought of breakup sex is my new best friend
We smell like vodka and hangover
Randomize
