guess they didn't have any donuts in her size.
how do you say "fuck me and leave bruises" in italian?
Seriously. You just grinded your ass all over the heisman trophy's dick. I want you to think about that.
It wasn't until i was on my knees with three dicks in my face that i thought it might be a bad idea
I came so hard that my back seriously popped like 5 times.
Attention ladies coming to the party tonight! Tonight will be another chance to win the 5 bucks for getting my cousin hard. Bring your a-game, no one has been able to overcome the whiskey dick yet. Good luck.
Volunteering at a homeless shelter a bum asked if he could lick me cause I still reeked of whiskey. Being a bumsickle=epic hangover
Thing I actually said tonight: "I want to achieve Ultimate level drunkenness, I'm only at Champion"
I puked so hard this morning that I peed my pants. I'm a gem.
I told her my blood type was O Positive and we started making out. Bio majors are weird.
Thought about it. I'm gonna go to work, but I'm gonna tell them I wrestled a bear saying I fell just isn't working.
You would think a husband, a boyfriend, and a vibrator would be enough. But sadly it's not
Anne is dead. totally passed out and was flat out in the street
He's teaching me French for free and I'm giving him blowjobs. Win-win.
Nothing is more confusing than dreaming about being chased by jets, then waking up with an erection.
Randomize
