i am doomed to only fuck guys with curved cocks
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
I had to take the fire extinguisher from him. He was just sitting on the floor petting it.
Tim john just told us the story about him losing his virginity at 14 during church on the emergency exit staircase. This is day drinking?
Update. He just picked me up and tried to demonstrate
I used to be terrified of what was under your bed until I passed out there last night. Now it just feels like home.
When were you at my house?
He just stared into my eyes and touched himself. That isn't hooking up.
Please just fuck her. She's new to LA and doesn't know anyone nice.
with a cock that big I don't even care that he makes a convincing drag queen
I just took the soggiest of beer shits and all i have to eat is shredded cheese and more beer. I need an adult.
well I tackled her when she was going to go upstairs because I was convinced that the house was haunted. You gotta stick together in horror movies.
I call him Seabiscuit because he's my trusty steed
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
He showed up in a Prius. I didn’t even wanna.... So I left.
So do I get points for screwing my recently single ex boyfriend and then telling him to go fight for his ex back?
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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