with your own penis?
that shirt you're wearing that says "officially single" makes me think you'll be that way for a really long fucking time.
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
UD be completely fine. you don't lose control just keep a positive environment. for example i really want to lick the wall cause red is delicious but i don't have to.
he just wrote my ten page research paper for tit pics. i love my boobs.
idk if its the weather or the "im still drunk" or the morning sex i just had with my roommates gf but that was def the most enjoyable walk in the rain ever
all i care about is the story behind my toaster ending up in the microwave
say 'i' if you broke up a fight involving your father at TD bank today....
woke up outside on the porch naked surrounded by beer cans with a towl around my neck. i must be in heaven cause i've never seen this place before.
Its like a match made in avoid-eachother-because-we're-antisocial-and-awkward heaven
If I got to choose how I die, it would be in an Olympic sized pool of gin and tonic.
Somehow she is more off limits now than when she was his girlfriend
I can't put those talents on a resume
well that's what you get for sleeping with a guy called 'the defiler'
Remember the guy with the pretty voice that gave us crabs?
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