Turns out drinking large amounts of Gentleman Jack does NOT turn you into a Gentleman -- quite the opposite actually.
you turned your livingroom into a bong?
So remember when i bet you that girl uses dick to validate her existence?
...yea
She's valid.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
I don't know if you realize how depressing it is to get your card denied....when you're only spending $4.
You just kept yelling at the cabby "I own this cab" and insisted on smoking with all the windows up
You need a Jiminy Cricket, but for sexual decisions.
If you haven't gone to the store yet. Can you PLEASE get me some clippers my balls will thank you later
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
Honestly and this might sound scary... But I want to get high and play with weapons
Blood everywhere...karaoke was nice
I've got to stop fucking tourists. If Chicagos piazza is anything like their dicks. I'm moving.
You'd be proud. Took my birth control today at 12:30 with a Budweiser. Guy across the bar saw and held his bottle up to salute me 😂
I can't believe I watched you put a tampon in in the parking garage
I just woke up butt-naked in bed with a guy I've never seen..I reached into my bag next to the bed to get my phone and found a bag of shrooms, a handle of vodka, and 600 dollars that I've never seen. what do I do
enjoy it.
Randomize
