I am looking at the epitome of fake boobs right now
It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
I just spent an unhealthy amount of money overnighting a full adult sized Trix Rabbit Halloween costume
so we had a 20 minute conversation and created the fb page WWND (what would Nana do?) last night after we took our Ambien...that is my definition of an overachiever
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Legit screaming match in this bar over the differences between cupcakes and muffins.
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
Why did you not tell me that video snapchats are a thing? This is a fucking game changer for my mobile sex life.
all I'm saying is that my epic blow jobs have made grown professional football players cry in ecstasy
you're no funn. i shall go consult my friend vodka on this matter.
Overheard a drunk girl talk about how when she's drunk she believes in more than one God
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
I just brought her a lipstick taser. So just remember that the next time you get smart with her
Went upstairs to make PopTarts, found the door open. Shut it. Saw a grey thing. Opened the door, found a girl sleeping outside. What the fuck happened last nigh
Randomize
