Oh so it was one of those "I shouldn't have gotten in a cab with a random 21 year old girl" kinda nights.
Dangr zzzzzzzzone
Definitely just puked in this corn maze. Families are staring.
You cant carve pumpkins without vodka. It's a Halloween tradition.
Just had to masturbate in the bathroom because mom changed my room into a "knitting" room. I hate coming home.
I'm definitely going to class still drunk right now and the freshman dressed as Hugh Heffner last night is texting me. I can't handle this.
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
cops tried arresting me on the way to class this morning.. this is my life.
I'm just trying to win a butt plug dude
It was the needle in the haystack of teary, unpleasant handjobs.
All I remember is receiving a lap dance to slow motion.
Terrible idea I love it
Well, I hope you're having fun. I'm just gonna lay here and wait for death - shouldn't be long now.
there is glitter all over my balls
I've finally become one of those chicks with a taco in her purse.
Randomize
