You don't give head? I'm offended and I don't even have a cock...
it makes it look bigger when i shave, i hope its not the same for a girl
You're just telling me nice things because you came in my eye.
Thank GOD those kids were having a lemonade stand, I didn't have anything to wash down my plan b with.
she's throwing things again.. almost stabbed herself in the eye with a fork.
He bought me a pink rose and a Plan B. I really like this guy.
you're like that jamaican tarat card reading chick... only with herpes
The sign say "Kereoke" strip bar. 5 more beers and ill be ready to rumble.
I've already agreed to hook up with 3 people tonight, and its not even 2:00 yet... I think this is what the path to success looks like.
I had jack at 8 am= instant drunk
Because my vagina is Ellis Island. All foreign penises must be presented for inspection and competency. God bless America.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
She started calling me daddy on the second date and I don't know how to react to that
If people had ratings on Tinder I'd give you 5 out of 5 stars.
idk but im stoned n hiding in the bathroom from my kids with a really big bowl of really little candy bars
Randomize
