I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
I've had a Margarita with salt, but I have to say I was impressed by the Stoli and Sprite rimmed with adderall
I'm having post traumatic stress flashbacks of last night. That big. Don't know whether to call him again or change my name...
It's like I paid NJ Transit $33 to suck his dick and go home. Fuck that.
what's not responsible about a pool full of beer?
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
What's great about college is that i can eat chocolate cereal for every meal and call it a money saving technique.
A guy in a banana suit just got the whole bus to participate in a call and response version of Bohemian Rhapsody. HERO
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I have lots of feelings today, but drunk is my favorite.
Looks better than the half a blow job I got the other night which I had to finish myself. From a chick I refer to simply as "mom jeans".
You were silly, high, and chewing on things.
after stripping the bed and soaking it with the "pet spot remover" I have, I decided in the best interest of my mattress and our drunk friends bladders, i should invest in rubber sheets.
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
If my vagina was a person it would have a bandage around its head and it's arm in a sling rn
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