East Village: Only place you can play pac man while eating a pineapple hotdog, go to the bar next door and see a graphic blowjob on every tv
She made fun of how I walked so I announced to her boyfriend that I have cum on her face before.
A homeless guy asked you to feel your boobs, you accepted in exchange for his broom to go with your witch costume..... that's when I cut you off
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
great, thanks for announcing that I gave you head over twitter
at least I said it was good
hey quick question, what would you consider to be a "first date" porn?
The gay bar tender told me I looked like Prince William. And that I needed my balls licked.
there's a liquor store near my therapist
i might give it a shot.
I was to the point where my socks were drenched in ranch dressing
I dont care if your mom convinced you it should be an abstinent christmas. I did horribly on finals and i'm out of booze, so you will get over her and FUCK. ME. NOW.
They're basically the Kennedys. This is the family I fucked in to. I'm so proud of my vagina as much as it feels shitty for my heart.
Welp, I just herniated a vocal cord during sex. How was your night?
My v day was great. There's a cum stain in the shape of a handprint on my sheets
I just want to see his penis in the light. Is that a crime?
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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