writing the newer testament. It's the 3rd for the series. I'll update u the rule changes later.
Booyah. Found 8000 pesos in my closet and that's apparently 608 US dollars
she wanted to watch hairspray while we fucked. she's obviously your kinda girl, dude.
After I gave him a handjob for a half an hour he told me I should be a taxidermist. I'm gonna take it as a compliment.
Home. Barefoot. Drunk. Crying. Puked. Brushed teeth. Washed face. Dying. Need Cuddle.
I blew him and did charles barkley impressions at the same time. what a pro
After seeing how much you are able to funnel in a night, I am 90% sure your blood is pure gin.
Bring gay.
By that I meant the rum. I just realized that my request made no sense. You always bring gay.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that he can say will you fuck me in so many languages or that I'm turned on because of that
I feel like I should go door-to-door apologizing to America.
Going to put that on my resume. "Only accidentally snapchatted my titties to all of my friends once."
I was so drunk last night I couldn't see faces, only from the shoulders down.
My memory of last night is a delicious blur of tits, ass, and alcohol.
They're gonna put "is a hoe" on my medical records
Where'd you go?
Laundry, im. A responsible drunk
Randomize
