I just made out with a guy for $7.
Last night, you attempted to motor boat my vagina then proceeded to blow raspberries on it. Don't ever do that again.
btw, i had a dream i drank 260-proof vodka last night. thank god that doesn't exist in real life.
Well I say she's a whore. All four of her kids have different last names.
BUT, one is Johnson and the other is Johnston. She gets some credit for that
I had to call maintenance to come unclog the toilet.
Something to remember me by.
At least drunk you showered before switching sex partners last night.
Wydf in so deruk i just dowwned a packet if salt waitibg for food at del taco
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
I just yelled at my mom for getting me circumcised without my permission. That drunk
Nothing says I'll be 22 tomorrow like washing the vomit out of your hair at 4pm
well he somehow got his hand stuck in some bike spokes trying to reach for a blunt he dropped and that's NOT the reason he's in the hospital...?
Seriously bro? Indoor roman candle wars? I guess I'll never see that fucking security deposit again
My life has evolved from screwing randos, ok?
I will find, mount, and marry that person.
Randomize
