Leaving terminator. dude in front of us leaving was wearing a baggy micael vick jersey, cargo shorts and brown crocs. God I hate people.
Please don't use social media to get back at me.
I kind of wish I was already fat. So I could eat all I want and not worry about getting fat. Cause I'd already be at that point.
What did you even date her?
because emotionally unstable girls are great in bed.
not the best booty call
did she squirt?
only if tears count
You may or may not of thrown up on your shoes, and you tried to give me a wet willy in my eye.
I'm thinking he has to buy me dinner at least twice before i even start considering casting him for "Fuck buddy - understudy."
I was told my cock was a religious experience.
Sorry for all the texts. I got wasted and woke up at the foot of a staircase. From what I can gather, I fell down it.
Looking through my moms phone and find a pic if a dick. Scarred for life.
Do they make liter beers?
They make 40s
Do they make 2 liter beers
They make 2 40s
Aside from the possibility of pregnancy, I'm going to call last night a raging success.
Basically she credited me and my dick pic for boosting the moral of all the Safeway workers
Mom just told me I need to start having sex.
Question: have you ever spent your Tuesday evening helping your one-night-stand create a resume? Because I have...
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