It's offcial there's a Bobby Light radio station on pandora.
my mom told me that she didn't count me in the census because im a waste of life anyway.
all but 2 of were put on probation for disorderly conduct. i know, visiting a hospital when your drunk is really stupid but it seemed like such a good idea at the time
swear to god, "it seemed like a good idea at the time" is gonna be on your epitaph
The lego bong didn't work. Just made us look stupid
On the bright side, nobody died. Please bring me back my left shoe. I have work in an hour.
congratulations to me i think I am on the road to legitimate alcoholism
cool. same. I'm in class drinking
NOT OKAY
sorry for partying
THATS NOT PARTYING THATS DRINKING IN CLASS
I gave an inspirational speech to a bum and called a bride ugly at her wedding reception.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
Lol. Awesome. Seriously though, I need you focused next year. We're gone have a lot of drinking and stupid nonsense to do, and I don't want dumb shit like responsibility to get in my fucking way.
So looks like I applied to adopt a dog last night. I'm completely ok with this
she broke up with me the week she got divorced. maybe I should grab a beer with her ex
You wanna know how bad I feel? I couldn't get out of bed to get the remote, so I just downloaded the comcast app on my phone so I could change the channels
It's like the hunger games, but we're gonna bone each other instead of kill each other
Accidentally made a straight guy question his sexuality again. I really gotta watch myself.
Randomize
